Birth Story: D.J. Mama Part ONE

As pregnancy progresses theres only one thing on most mamas minds- giving birth. While media makes it seem like this amazing journey you embark on before the grand finale of meeting baby, I am here to tell you – that ish is scary. Of course you assume everything is going to be okay, but the reality of childbirth is that you DO NOT KNOW whats going to happen. It can be absolutely terrifying. You can plan as much as you want but at the end of the day you just have to be okay with letting things happen however they’re supposed to.

With the birth of my first son Damien Jr, I decided my best plan of action was to honestly have no plan at all. This way I wouldn’t be disappointed with how anything turned out and I was more flexible with whatever my OB suggested. it kept me calm knowing that I was game for anything – as long as I had a healthy baby – bring it on.

My Husband, Damien, was away working in NYC playing in a football league for the last couple months of my pregnancy. It was nerve-wracking to say the least. His season wouldn’t end until over a month after my due date (I was due March 17th on St. Patricks Day) and we knew when I went into labor he would need to get on a plane IMMEDIATELY or risk missing the birth all together. It was really stressful for me knowing that worst case scenario, I would be giving birth for the first time, completely alone. We also had to be careful because a new pandemic had started to spread – COVID 19. Although the US had yet to realize the chaos COVID was about to bring, by early March we started to see a few reports here and there on policy changes to slow its spread.

I went for my 39 week check up on a Friday in March and my OB suggested we sweep my membranes and reported I was 2cm dilated. My body was preparing for labor and it could start at any time she warned. I left the appointment and phoned my husband. When he answered he reported that to my surprise he was actually booking a ticket home for the next day. COVID Cases had been reported for a few players on the Seattle team and the risk of exposure was too great so the league put the rest of the season on hold. Relief. I couldn’t wait to have him home after months apart and knowing he would be safer from the virus with me, rather than in NY where cases had a huge spike, was definitely a weight off my shoulders.

Damien got home Saturday afternoon and we spent the day just enjoying being back together. We had a date night in, ate our favorite foods, watched Marvel movies and reveled in the company of one another. I had been waiting for this moment for so long and I was thankful to have time with him before our lives changed forever. The next morning we decided to have a lazy Sunday in. I woke up to my husband making me breakfast and we ate in bed. We took our dog Suki on a walk and got home to take a long nap. When we got up Damien got started on Lunch and I decided to deep clean our house. I scrubbed everything, I vacuumed, I organized, I was on overdrive and I wanted everything perfect IMMEDIATELY. As I wrapped up my second pass of vacuuming, I started to get period like cramps. I thought I had maybe over extended myself with the cleaning a bit and my husband suggested I go lay down for a bit. I went upstairs, laid on our bed, but just couldn’t get comfortable. The cramps were persistent. I decided to download a contraction tracking app, just to see how often they were coming. To my surprise there was a pattern to them. They would come in waves, a slow build up from period like – to oh shit this is uncomfortable- and back down to period like, then stop completely. I started to time them and realized these were definitely contractions and not only that, they were exactly 5 mins apart, for over a minute in length. I timed them for an hour before my app sent me a notification that it was time to head to the hospital. I stared at it in disbelief.

I went downstairs and told Damien the news. I *thought* I was in labor and that the app said to go to the hospital so I guess it was time to load up. We threw everything in the car and headed to UCSD Jacobs Medical Center in La Jolla. It was only a 15 min drive but it felt like forever. The contractions got more intense (but were still very manageable) and I knew for sure it was go time. When we got to the hospital we were informed about the COVID policy changes. There were to be absolutely no visitors, I was allowed on support person for labor and recovery, and my support person was in no way allowed to leave the building (or my room for that matter). We were lucky to be honest, at the same time in NY they were no longer allowing support people for mothers in labor. You had to give birth alone. I was grateful that the changes wouldn’t affect Damien being able to not only support me but also watch his first be born.

We were admitted to the hospital and taken to a triage room where they would monitor baby, my contractions, and check my dilation to determine if i was progressing. We stayed in triage for an hour or two while I received my IV, and was informed I had progressed from 3 cm to 5 cm. The nurse said we were being admitted into a delivery room and discussed pain management methods with me. I wanted to see how I could go without an epidural so I opted for laughing gas. I was on cloud nine to say the least.

By the time we were taken to our delivery room, my contractions had really started to pick up. They HURT and were coming so frequently I was getting overwhelmed. The nurse came in and looked at my vitals output sheets and said “OH WOW”, “what now?” I huffed in between contractions. She then told me how they had been waiting to check my dilation again until my contractions became more regular, she proceeded to explain how normally you have a contraction followed by a break and then you get another contraction. Of course, thats not how my body rolls… The nurse showed me the output sheet and showed me on paper what I was feeling. I was having 2-3 contractions back to back followed by a break of mere seconds before having another wave of multiple contractions. EXHAUSTING. The craziest part? They were only going to get worse…I decided right then and there – its time for an epidural.

click here for PART TWO